SEO Is Basically Witchcraft—Here’s How to Cast the Right Spells

SEO Is Basically Witchcraft—Here’s How to Cast the Right Magic Spells

Let’s be real—SEO is magic digital sorcery.

You chant a few keywords, throw some backlinks into the void, and suddenly—poof!—your website appears on the first page of Google. Or… it sinks into the depths of page 12, never to be seen again.

That’s because SEO, much like witchcraft, requires the right spells, potions, and ancient rituals (also known as “Google’s algorithm updates”). Your website is probably cursed if you still rely on outdated magic (cough, keyword stuffing). But fear not, young apprentice! I’m about to teach you how to wield the dark (and by dark, I mean completely Google-approved) arts of search engine optimization.

Step 1: Your H1 Tags Are a Summoning Circle

Every great spell starts with a ritual. In SEO, that ritual is your H1 tag—the sacred incantation that tells both Google and your visitors what’s about to go down on your page.

But beware! Using multiple H1 tags on one page is like drawing two summoning circles at once—you’ll confuse the spirits (aka search engines) and risk unleashing an eldritch horror (aka low rankings).

✅ Proper SEO spellcasting:

• Use one H1 per page, clearly stating your page’s purpose.
• Make it engaging. Instead of “Blog Post About SEO,” go for something like “How to Summon More Website Traffic (Without Selling Your Soul).”

❌ SEO heresy:

• “H1 tags? Never heard of ’em.” (You’re basically muting yourself in the spirit world.)
• Using five different H1s because “they’re big and look cool.” (Chaos magic is risky.)

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Step 2: Keywords Are Your Incantations

Think of keywords like spell ingredients—too much, and you’ll set your cauldron on fire. Too little, and your potion does nothing.

You need to weave keywords into your content strategically, but if you’re out here stuffing “best web designer Madison WI” into every sentence like a maniac, Google will smite you faster than you can say “algorithm update.”

✅ Enchant your content wisely:

• Use keywords naturally within your text.
• Sprinkle them in headings, meta descriptions, and image alt text.
• Research long-tail keywords. “How to create a high-converting website” is way more powerful than just “website design.”

❌ Do NOT commit keyword necromancy:

• Copy-pasting the same phrase 17 times in a row.
• Writing like an emotionless robot: “We are the best SEO company for SEO services in the SEO industry for SEO.”

Example: Using Keywords the Right Way

Scene:
Carla, a web developer who specializes in WordPress websites for dance studios, wants to improve her SEO rankings. She knows that stuffing “dance studio web design” into every sentence like a maniac won’t work, so she plans to weave her keywords in naturally.

What NOT to do:
“Welcome to our dance studio website, where we design dance studio websites for every dance studio that needs a dance studio website. If you need a dance studio website, look no further because we do dance studio websites better than any other dance studio website designers.”

📉 Yikes. Google just set that on fire.

Goal:
Her target audience consists of dance studio owners looking for modern, mobile-friendly websites that help them get more students. She wants to rank for:

• Dance studio website design
• Embedding Jackrabbit classes on website
• Custom WordPress websites for dance studios
• SEO for dance studios
• Dance school website examples

Natural Keyword Integration:
“A dance studio’s website should be as fluid and engaging as the choreography performed inside its walls. That’s why we specialize in custom WordPress websites for dance studios, ensuring your site is visually stunning, mobile-friendly, and optimized for search engines. Whether you’re looking for the best website builder for dance studios or need expert SEO for dance studios, we create websites that bring in more students and keep parents informed. Check out some of our favorite dance school website examples to see what’s possible!”

Boom. That’s SEO magic at work. The keywords flow naturally, engaging both search engines and actual humans.

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Step 3: Internal Links Are Binding Spells

Want your website to be an interconnected web of power? Use internal links.

Example: The Art of Link-Weaving

Scene:
Emma, a web designer for small businesses, wants to improve her site’s SEO. She knows that internal linking helps keep visitors engaged while signaling to Google that her content is important. Instead of letting her blog posts exist in isolation like sad ghosts, she creates an intricate web of links.

Goal:
Encourage visitors to explore more of her website while improving rankings for terms like:

• Best website builder for small businesses
• Small business website SEO tips
• How to design a high-converting website
• Web design mistakes to avoid

The result? More time on site, better engagement, and SEO magic at work.

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Step 4: Backlinks Are the Elders’ Blessing

Example: The Quest for Powerful Backlinks

Scene:
Olaf, a graphic designer specializing in branding for startups, realizes that if he can get high-quality backlinks to his portfolio and blog, Google will see his site as more authoritative. But he knows he can’t just buy spammy backlinks—he needs to earn them.  (Want to know more about backlinks and the correct way to “earn” them, keep them and manage them?  Read here.)

Goal:
Boost his credibility by getting legitimate websites to link back to his:

• Startup branding tips
• How to create a strong visual identity
• Logo design mistakes startups should avoid
• Best colors for brand psychology

How Mark Builds His Backlink Strategy:

1. Guest Posting – He reaches out to startup blogs and offers to write a valuable post, like “The 5 Branding Mistakes That Will Destroy Your Startup.”
2. Infographics & Shareable Content – He creates a fun infographic about “The Psychology of Logo Colors” and submits it to design blogs.
3. Networking & Interviews – He joins podcasts and online panels where he’s quoted as a branding expert, earning natural backlinks.

The result? More domain authority, higher rankings, and startup founders finding his services with ease.

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Final Step: Cast the Ultimate SEO Spells

The Speed Demon Charm

Make your site faster than a lightning bolt.

• Compress images, enable caching, and clean up unnecessary code.

The Mobile-Friendly Enchantment

Ensure your site looks flawless on all devices.

The Fresh Content Resurrection

Old content loses its power—revive it!

Final Words from the SEO Coven

Did this all make sense? Do you feel slightly more magical, or at the very least, slightly less confused?

Here’s the deal—SEO isn’t just guesswork (unless you want to live in the shadows of page 12). It’s about strategy, execution, and ensuring Google doesn’t think your website is a HOT MESS. Lucky for you, I happen to be ridiculously good at making websites look good, function flawlessly, and rank like a champion.

So now the real question is: Don’t you want to hire someone who actually knows what they’re doing? Like, say… me?

If you’re ready to stop playing SEO roulette and actually start making more money, let’s chat. We can discuss your website, your SEO strategy, and your goals over something legendary—like a butterbeer latte, a cauldron of strong coffee, or a shot of espresso that feels like it was blessed by the gods of caffeine themselves.

Call me, message me, or summon me via smoke signals (or, you know, email) and let’s get your website ranking where it belongs.